As The Donald Turns; Not Happening

Donald Trump political unicorn
WILKES-BARRE, PA - OCTOBER 10: Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump holds a campaign rally on October 10, 2016 in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Trump continues his campaign following a town hall style debate against the Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton at Washington University in St. Louis last night. (Photo by Jessica Kourkounis/Getty Images)

It is sometimes too easy to tell how things are going with Donald based on what is happening. But the staff here at As The Donald Turns thinks it has a bunch of smarty pants kind of people, so we are going to tell you how things are going by looking at what is NOT happening.

  • Ending the war in Syria is NOT happening. While at dinner at Mar a Lago, Donald ordered missiles from two US warships to be fired at the Syrian air base that was the launching point for the gas attack earlier in the week. The Tomahawk missiles, produced by Raytheon, which Donald has stock in according to his FEC filings, took out 6 airplanes, a training building and the cafeteria, as well as four Syrian soldiers. Even with hundreds of Russians at the air base, none of them were seriously injured. According to Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the Russians were given enough of a warning so as to not be accidentally targeted. Within 12 hours, the airstrip was being used by Syrian planes again for the ongoing civil war.
  • Donald wanting to be responsible for repaving runways is NOT happening. Armchair military pundits were wondering how the US fired 59 missiles and did not take out any of the runways at the air field. Donald had the explanation, via twitter of course:

@realDonaldTrump  Apr 8

“The reason you don’t generally hit runways is that they are easy and inexpensive to quickly fix (fill in and top)!”

Taking out the cafeteria though, well now that is a whole other matter. If anyone has ever gone to Sears to try to buy one of the Viking Convection Ovens, you know delivery can take some time. Imagine the delivery and installation time for an order from Damascus. That dining hall won’t be rebuilt for weeks and it will be expensive….but at least the runways for the bombing missions were left alone.

  • Steve Bannon leaving the administration will NOT be happening. The alt-right, white nationalist, senior advisor had been tangling with wunderkind son-in-law Jared Kushner. Bannon even got his old colleagues at Breitbart to write several slam pieces on Kushner calling him a “globalist.” Kushner got right down off the playground monkey bars and said “sticks and stones….” Donald was none too pleased that the infighting had gone public. There are leaks within the administration on a daily basis. He sent Bannon and Kushner to the quiet corner and told them to work it out because no one was leaving and no one was getting fired. Breitbart had let it leak that if Bannon was pushed out, they would turn their “publication” into open season on Trump.
  • No one is quitting and no one is getting fired……except Deputy National Security Advisor K.T. McFarland. She will NOT be staying. Reliable sources have National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster giving McFarland some boxes to pack up her office sometime this week. It really is ironic. Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn wanted McFarland in that post. He was fired for all the known, and many unknown, reasons. Military men Keith Kellogg and Robert Harward turned down the NSA position because they wanted full control over staffing, but were told McFarland was going to be a fact of life for them. Two months later her Trump career is NOT continuing.
  • Pictures of Donald playing golf are NOT supposed to be happening. Apparently he has gotten a little thin skinned over all the criticism of how frequently he plays golf. He was on President Obama’s case for eight years, yet Donald has spent 10 of his 12 weekends in office on a golf course. Press Secretary Sparkle Pony Spicer once said the difference is that Donald has meetings on the golf course. No one ever realized Obama was out there by himself every time. So now the White House wants no more pictures of Donald playing golf on weekends getting out to the public. This last weekend, Sparkle Pony even checked staffers’ phones to make sure no one was leaking them out. CNN producer Kevin Liptak would NOT be deterred. He took a photo of Donald playing golf and put it on his twitter feed. We are still waiting for Donald to proclaim it as Fake Golf.
  • Understanding of how the meetings went with Chinese President Xi Jinping will NOT be happening. It is customary for the two heads of state to have a joint press conference after their meetings. That did NOT happen. Donald should have been all over this one. Since there is no free press in China, he would have been given pre-screened questions and he could have regaled the room with tales of his historic margin of victory in the Electoral College. We know from Chinese government sources that Donald did NOT tell Xi about the strike on Syria, even though they were seated at the same dinner table when it happened. We know that Donald wasted time hoping to get a new golf partner. Officials of the Communist Party in China are prohibited from playing golf as it is seen as a recreation for millionaires. In fact, China last week ordered the closing of 111 golf courses throughout the country. We know that Xi did NOT stay with Donald long, instead opting for an extended layover in Alaska this weekend on his way home. Boy, Donald sure knows how to show people a good time. Strangely enough, during the campaign when he was putting on one of his “tough guy Donald” routines, he said there would be no state dinners for the Chinese president; that they would sit in a room and eat McDonald’s until they pounded out some new deals. Yeah, that also did NOT happen. I am sure voters at his rallies believed him. Most others did NOT.
  • We know that bears are NOT safe in the US anymore. President Obama had enacted the Alaska National Wildlife Refuges Rule. It prohibited practices such as the killing of bears with cubs and wolves with pups, as well as the hunting of animals from aircraft, among other things. Donald has no use for Alaska or its wildlife because they don’t golf. He overturned the law over the weekend by signing House Resolution 69 which puts all of those practices back into play. Maybe Chinese President XI stayed in Alaska to get one last look at some of these beautiful animals.
  • The wall separating the US from Mexico will NOT be happening. Well, let’s be clear. Most of us knew it was never going to happen but there were still those die hard Trumpsters, many living in states completely unimpacted by immigration from Mexico, that showed up at rallies and chanted for the wall. But as the Department of Homeland Security, which says it does not want the wall, has discovered, people actually live on the border. American citizens have houses and ranches and farms right on the border. The government would have to buy and then tear down their property, less the owners wind up on the wrong side of the wall. Reality says it has become apparent that eminent domain lawsuits will tie this up for a decade or more….or eight years longer than Donald will be president. Sorry Kentucky… will have to deal with that whopping 3% Hispanic population another way. Maybe having someone else pick the tobacco fields will be a start.

There is clearly a lot NOT happening in DonaldLand, so the staff here at As The Donald Turns will NOT sleep a lot so we keep you up to date on the non-events of the administration.




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